Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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