The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize