I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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