i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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