I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
