Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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