I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
