i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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