Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
