Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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