just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
