I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
