I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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