And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
