you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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