you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
