its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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