thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
