My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
