Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
