Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
