My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i drank out of a bidet.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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