Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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