just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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