i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
