There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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