Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
