i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
