Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
