just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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