a queef is a wish your heart makes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh god it's open bar.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
