Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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