i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
