I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
