They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
