it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize