"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
