Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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