How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
