Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just wanna soil my oats bro
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
