I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
