just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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