sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
