big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
