In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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