Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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