Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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