he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
