Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
