Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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