I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
