ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
