I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
