you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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