so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
