so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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