but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
