he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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