he wants to bone in the snuggie
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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