I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
